Billion-Dollar Ideas

5. Billion-dollar movie idea.

Cannot miss.

$250+ million opening weekend in the U.S. alone. Guaranteed.

Impossible to fail. Impossible!

Are you ready for this? It will blow your mind.

You will look at me and say “You, sir, are a genius.”

Are you ready? Here it is.

4 words:

Darth Vader vs. Spock

Just send me the cash now.

4. Slim Jim Smoothie™: The name says it all. Available in regular and “extra chunky.”

Of course, the Beef Jerky Smoothie™ is worth a billion dollars too, but the name’s not quite as catchy.

Mmmmmm…… Meat….. In drink form….

The tagline in the ads will be: “Slim Jim Smoothie™: Like drinking some salami.” Or maybe “Need a little excitement? Slurp into a Slim Jim Smoothie™!”.

3. Spaghetti Salsa™: Do you love Italian food? Do you love Mexican food? Then Spaghetti Salsa™ is for you.

What is marinara sauce? Tomatoes, vegetables, and some spices. What is salsa? Tomatoes, vegetables, and some spices. Put them together and you’ve got… Spaghetti Salsa™. Goes great with tortilla chips. And meatballs. At the same time.

Just send me your checks now.

2. The Convertible™: Ever been so comfortable in a hot tub that you really didn’t want to have to get out, dry off, and go get in bed so you could fall asleep? Well, now with Robb’s new convertible hot tub/waterbed, you don’t have to! In a car convertible, you can just hit a switch and put the top down. And with Robb’s convertible hot tub/waterbed, you just hit a switch to “put the floor up”- a false bottom/floor of the hot tub slides up to become a mattress, the hot water fills it up, and voila! You’re in bed! Plus, when you wake up the next morning, just “put the floor down,” let the hot water from the mattress drain automatically into the tub again, grab a bar of soap, and guess what? You’re in a hot bath, ready to start your day! (Soap tray accessory sold separately.)

1. The PinYoda®: a piñata in the shape of Yoda. Kids don’t swat at it with a stick, they use a “light saber” just like real Jedi knights. The basic model comes merely filled with candy, but the deluxe version also includes an airflow sensor which detects unsuccessful swings by kids. This sensor wirelessly communicates with an external speaker, causing PinYoda to taunt unsuccessful kids with his Jedi trash talk: “Swing like a girl you do,” “Ooh, Jabba has a gold bikini with your name on it, bee-otch,” “Take it Wookie-style your mama does,” etc.

(Deluxe customizable light saber assembly kit sold separately.)

George Lucas: email me, babe.