The Very Pinnacle of Man’s Achievement

August 9, 2009

Ever wondered why they invented the internet? Wonder no more. I give you nothing less than Shatner and the very pinnacle of man’s achievement. Crank up you audio and start rockin!


First Time In My Life

March 19, 2009

Tonight I wrote emails to my U.S. Congresswoman, to both my U.S. Senators, and the the President. I guess you could say I was pissed off and scared. This was the first time in my life I have ever written to any of my elected representatives (and I let them know it). 

Did it make me feel better? Eh.


Crazy Idea for the Weekend

January 31, 2009

What if Dead Guy is a musical? Thinking about this…


Quote of the Day

September 19, 2008

“Events” don’t occur; they are invented after the fact by someone trying to tell a story.*

– some friend of my sister

 

*In the spirit of the quote, I tweaked it somewhat in order to better make my point.


Random Question #36

August 27, 2008

When you buy a calzone, you know how they know the thing is dry, so they always give you a little marinara sauce on the side to put on it? Why don’t they just bake the marinara sauce into the calzone?


Worst #1 Pop Song of All Time

June 20, 2008

“(Ain’t Nothin’ Gonna) Break-a My Stride,” Matthew Wilder, 1983.

Made my root canal yesterday 1,000 times worse just by being on the dentist’s radio. I’d like to go and break-a his face.


April 28, 2008

April 28, 2008

Well, how did I get here?

How do I work this?
Where is that large automobile?
This is not my beautiful house.
This is not my beautiful wife.

What is that beautiful house?
Where does that highway go to?
Am I right? Am I wrong?
My God… what have I done?


Helicopter Anderson

January 15, 2008

Mudflap prism
Standing shoes
Snowmobile rot conceal
Bleach(ed) white blues

Lipstick machete
Skullcap soil
Curtain rod confetti
Birdhouse boil

Easy-bake urinal cake
Switchback smug
Simon sand hand in gland
Rank reek rug

One day you will come around
Knock upon my door
Step lightly now stop show me how
Leave me on the floor

Telescopic mouthfeel
Limousine crow
Subtle stretch and softly retch and
I don’t know


2nd Worst Restaurant Name of All Time

October 2, 2007

PlacentaMunch ®.

Worst restaurant name of all time remains Turdfeast ©.